Kiddie TV Program

Sophia : Gee...do you watch all them morning kiddie TV programs?
Gee    : You mean like "Captain Kangaroo" and "Romper Room" and "Sesame Street"?
Sophia: Why not?
Gee    : I think they are too BABY-ISH!!
Sophia: But I hear one of them on in the next room! Why don't you shut it off!??
Gee    : I can't do that! My mom is hooked on them!.

Appreciation

John : Bernard, o! buddy! Take a gander at this!
Bernard : Why, it’s a plastic loving cup awarded to “The WORLD’S BEST
FATHER”! That’s very nice!
John : My darling daughter presented it to me.
Bernard : How sweet! Tell me, what wonderful thing your father did that
made you go out and buys such a sentimental show of
appreciation?
Daughter : He gave the money!

The Race

Lidia  :  I WON!! I WON! I WON!!   I AM THE  GREASTEST! I AM THE CHAMPION! I AM THE BESTEST IN THE WHOLE WOLRD!

Gorge :  Oh! Yeah? Just ‘cause you beat your BROTHERS doesn’t make you a Champion!! I’ll race you!

Lidia : No way!! You don’t even qualify! You’re not in the same LEAGUE with me and my brothers!  They Let me win!!

Two Good Reasons

George : That bully, Butch Grube, is pushing me around!! You’re my Big Brother!! You’re  supposed to protect me!! Go out there and PUNCH HIM OUT!!

Jeff  : Sorry! I won’t do it for TWO GOOD REASONS.  First…it’s time you started fighting your OWN BATTLES!!

George : Ahh! You’re just scared stiff he’ll knock the stuffing’s out of you!!

Jeff:  That’s the SECOND good reason!!

COPS and ROBBERS

Alex  : Let’s play Cops and Robbers!

Jeff    : Yeah!

Alex   : I’ll be the BAD GUY!

Jeff    : An’ I’ll be the GOOD GUY!  But why do you wanna be the BAD GUY? On TV, the GOOD GUY always wins!

Alex  : Not on the NEWS shows!

The next meal

Son : Where is everybody? We are all out on the patio!

Mom : It’s a lovely morning, I thought it would be nice to have Breakfast outdoors! I’m using the Playroom stove!

Son : It’s things like this that makes little rich kids like me into hopelessly insecure neurotics! With two kitchens in the house…..I never know where my next meal is coming from!

Christmas Gifts

Mom :  How nice! Another article of clothing!
Son   : What's nice about it!? All I got for Christmas was lots of clothes... and one lousy dart gun..!
Mom : Clothe are actually very practical gifts! Make the most of them!
Son   : Don't worry! I will!
                    Bang! Bang!  Bang! Bang!........(target are clothes)

Cliches

Dad : Son, this is a competitive society you're growing up in! So remember the rules!
         "A Winner never QUITS, and a quitter never WINS!".
         " Show me a good loser, and I'll show you a LOSER!."
         "Winning is not everything… .it's the ONLY thing!"
          “Now do you understand about winning, my boy?

Son:  “I sure do, Dad!”
         “If they were running a contest of Hackneyed Clichés…YOU’D WIN!      

Award

Dad:  I've called this meeting of the family becasue we are in a crisis situation! Inflation is playing havoc with ourbudget! I'm finding it difficult making our payments!! Therefore,I have decided to give a TEN DOLLAR AWARD to anyone who can come up with a MONEY-SAVING IDEA...!

Son : Cut the award to FIVE dollars!.